
Being of a largely strange and disparate nature...
Works
of Art and Sophistication - Top condiment artist valerieusa
works solely in the medium of Kraft mayonnaise and writes to me from across
the Atlantic. Visit her pictures and make her duly the most famous artist
in contemporary society
Worldwide I Hate Mayonnaise
Club - Our accursed mortal enemies, whom we have solemnly avowed to crush
like so many squalid salad cream smeared cockroaches. These people do not
like mayonnaise and are therefore a long way beneath contempt. Their web site
though, is a festering pile of bat guano which was last updated around the
time that dinosaurs roamed the earth
Bestfoods
- The home of Hellmann's, where the eponymous premium brand mayonnaise is
hidden away amidst their online list of over ten hundred thousand top food
brands (approx.). Bestfoods once ran a web site called Planet Sandwich which
will linger long in the ketchup addled memory of any bread based snack fiend,
but which has now sadly departed forever to the dark space at the back of
the great (virtual) kitchen cupboard in the sky, behind the jar of congealed
piccalilli and the extra strong pickled onions from last Christmas.
Planet Ketchup!
- Speaking up for the other great condiment, Planet Ketchup must surely orbit
the same sun as the World of Mayonnaise. If only Planet Sandwich hadn't exploded
after the incident with the Branston pickle and the Encona red pepper sauce
Ketchup
World I - No updates in five years! I guess this guy either died tragically,
got terminally bored with condiment themed web sites or who knows, somehow
managed to form a meaningful relationship with another human being and realised
how sad and desperate his empty life had become
Ketchup World II
- Yup, another site with the same name, rather commercial in outlook, although
the ketchup of the month club intrigues me. Please dear God, enough with the
ketchup already
Brownsauce.net - Dedicated
to the spicy brown sauce that's funkier than a sackful of weasels and almost
twice as brown
Hot Headz - The hottest,
mind blowingly spiciest sauces to be found anywhere on the web, and all from
rural Gloucestershire
The
Condiment Packet Museum - The only place you'll find an online image of
the extremely rare inverse print of the 1976 Hellmann's Mayonnaise two penny
blue condiment sachet. If you feel truly inspired join the fun at The
Yahoo Condiment Packets Club! Yip yip yarooo!
The Anti Tomato Web Site
- The backlash begins HERE!!! Sample dialogue: "Daddy, why do people
eat tomatoes?", "Those people are bad son and are evil like the
tomato". Nuff said
The Horseradish Information
Council - Do they need one? How can anyone get so curious? Yes horseradish
sauce, that mulchy stuff you put on beef if the mayonnaise is a bit tame that
day
The Empty Bowl - A
web site designed to serve the cereal eating community. There's quite a lot
of them about apparently and they're doing for cereal what we're doing for
mayonnaise
The Anti Onion
League - I sincerely hope that the founder of this site is found dead
with a large salad onion rammed into every single orifice
NetDonut
- Donut eating via the net, for all those lethargic net heads who are either
too apathetic or just too plain idle to go through all the tedious motions
involved in ingesting solid sustenance
The World of Sandwiches
- "Supporting the British Sandwich Association". No, seriously.
Did they never stop to ask themselves why?
The Total Sandwich
Show - My god, they've booked Kensington Olympia again and filled it with
sandwiches! Will the madness ever end?
Kraft
Foods - Kraft mayonnaise direct to your doorstep. Or not. Owners of the
sacred domain name 'mayo.com', if only I had £10,000 to spare I'd show
them what a true mayonnaise web site should be
Kite Wholefoods
- Home of the celebrated Welsh organic mayonnaise, with a diverting talent
for animated gifs
Heinz
UK and Ireland - Bean, ketchup and spaghetti hoop conglomerate with a
nice side line in mayonnaise
Haunted
Escaped Mayonnaise! - A lamentable waste of atoms for a site which unashamedly
lacks substance, motive, content or imagination. Hurrah!
Mayonnaise
or Mahonesa? - An authoritative treatise on the historical and linguistic
origins of mayonnaise for scholars of such cerebral things
Fish
is Meat - An interesting philosophical point, but surely we always know
which dressing to use? (Clue: It's not tartare)
De
Rit - Our favourite organic Dutch mayonnaise makers display their precious
wares
Belgian Fries -
Live from Belgium, the spiritual home of chips and mayonnaise, comes a site
dedicated to Belgian fries. The secret, you see, is that they fry them twice.
Mmmmm, incapacitating
THE OFFICIAL FRENCH FRIES
PAGES (OFFP) - Chips in England, fries almost everywhere else, but these
artery clogging little blighters always go staggeringly well with a vat or
two of mayo. No longer updated but its lard laden legacy will linger on
The
Lettuce Preservation Society - Seemingly ubiquitous on the myriad and
unimaginative mayonnaise jar serving suggestions, I suppose someone has to
stand up for the pallid limp green veg
Delouis Fils - French
purveyors of fine and effeminate lavender scented Gallic sauces. Click on
the American flag for an version in English, now there's something to make
your ginger beard bristle! (Welsh women may know what I mean)
Nude
Man Carrot - Pornographic shots of a carrot in a variety of compromising
situations, as odd as it sounds, if not a bit more
Innocent Inanimate
Objects - Have fun with groceries and guns. Shoot that evil tofu!
2000
Alternate Uses for Peanut Butter - Things to do with peanut butter that
are not nutritious or filling, but which may quite legitimately be considered
illegal, impractical or immoral
Cheeseburgers
in Paradise - Loose utterly the will to live or care in the safety and
comfort of your home as phantom cheeseburgers dance for your salacious erotic
delight
Bar Code 1
- A must for fans of the zebra striped conveyors of data. They help to adorn
the sides of jars, allow them to help adorn your life
Gerald
Tyrwhitt-Wilson - (1883–1950) the fourteenth Lord Berners - Celebrate
the life of the infamous inventor of blue mayonnaise
Feinste
Mayonnaise, leicht bekömmlich - Mayonnaise in a TUBE? From Germany?
What will they think of next?
Pork
Scratchings - Its a well known fact that Midlanders eat some deep fried
pig derived product for ever single meal, and here's the hair encrusted stuff
they eat between meals
National Pork Producers Council
- Does exactly what it says on the packet. Those cheerful faced pink pig creatures
in their muddy sties sure make nice sandwiches
Inconspicuous
Consumption - The intricacies of the world of design for all to see, from
cereals to saucepans, chocolates to bottle tops, it's all in in here somewhere
The Official Spam Home Page
- Think pink, think luncheon meat
Hats of Meat - "One
always looks neat, in a hat made from meat!". I certainly wouldn't start
an argument with someone sporting a rancid slab of beef on their head, but
if the hat is rounded off with a mayonnaise neck tie, one can always look
that extra bit dapper and stylish
If you would care to suggest a link for the World of Mayonnaise to investigate, need companionship, crave attention or if you just have too much spare time on your hands, please e-mail us all at links@mayonnaise.co.uk

Info Pages
I'm a great lover of my mobile phone so I've put together some information that will be useful to you together with some links to the best sites I've found, here they are;